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Saturday Night on the Porch

April 27, 2013

Tonight, I’m pleased to be writing from my porch swing, glass of house red in hand.

It’s been a rough day.

But my good friend A. is on her way over if she can ever make it through traffic, and we have writing and dreams to discuss. If ever I had a kindred spirit, she is it. I could really use a dose of her sanity. I often worry that I am not nearly as good a friend to her as she has been to me the past few years.

Today, a doctor recommended I take some time off from my full time job(s). Unfortunately, it’s not a viable option. I told her I would think about it, but it was a lie. There is nothing to think about. I just have to keep plodding along. I also need to finish my second MA. I’m just burnt out. I don’t care much right now about anything. It’s a pleasant reprieve from sobbing over anything ranging from broccoli to CTCA commercials, but I expect that somewhere deep down, I ought to be concerned about my complete lack of caring or interest in anything.

On days like these, I relate to David and Bryan far too well. Wear a smile. Do your job. Go through the motions. Wait for the feeling – or lack thereof – to pass. I’ve been on the road for work a lot lately, which I’m not used to, and was today asked to hit the road again for a third destination in two months.

I can’t seem to focus on anything. My new website is a mess, but a new post is up – the excerpt that prompted me to get my own domain, lest I should be cited by for promoting violence et al. I mean,  don’t think it’s that intense, but then, I live in my head every day and am used to it. And, of course, I feel pressured to produce something new and earth-shattering for tac.

A. is threatening murder over traffic now, and I’m determined to at least start a paragraph of fiction before she gets here.

I’m a do this.


From → rants

One Comment
  1. This blog was… how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something which
    helped me. Cheers!

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