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today the mormons blew my mind

June 26, 2013

So I had my scheduled meet up with the sister missionaries, and we had a very interesting chat that involved an awful lot of me waxing poetic about how I just want to be a good person, do good things, and live a peaceful life. I want to be free of gossip, lies, and jealousy. Blah, blah, blah. The missionaries liked this. I mentioned my neighbor (gossip? Sure) and his family’s seeming hatred of just about everyone on my block. I hope there’s judgement for him and his: whywere you such a meaniehead during your life?

But there’s more. I explained to the sisters my previous discussion with two brother missionaries and how upset I was when they expressed their views regarding the lgbtq community. The sisters were unperturbed. “We can only interpret God’s word,” they said. We are fallible. One sister told me she straight up has lgbtq friends. How about that?

We discussed the fine line between pushing religion and sharing religion. Mormonism clearly states that it for each individual to find his belief. Interesting.

So as I’m scrubbing my kitchen floor this evening, two thoughts occur to me: 1) how the hell do I know exactly why my neighbor hates us all? I know nothing except that I perceive his family as bizarre and rude. Nothing more. Then, as I started thinking more about Mormonism, about how I have staunchly been against it for my own beliefs, I had to ask myself what my issue was if homosexuality and equality are taken out of the picture. Why do I reel against jesus so much?

This is, naturally, a big question to ask myself. Of course, there’s still the Torah vs New Testament conflict for me, but that will come down to a matter of faith: Jesus came along and said, “Hey, you know that covenant God gave you? That everlasting one? Well, yeah, about that…”

I feel like the dogma I’ve grown up with has pushed me so far from Christianity that it’s ridiculous. Hell, maybe my views on gender wouldn’t be so screwed up if I hadn’t decided to rage against the status quo when I was 12. Then again, maybe it’s the other way around.  it’s sort of a chicken and egg argument.

I have expressed to exactly one person on this earth my perception of my own gender, and I don’t plan on making a second attempt any time soon, since the one person I thought I could turn to completely ignored me. Sure, he’s got his own shit going on, but it didn’t exactly inspire confidence. I live the best I can.

That’s all I can do for now. The Mormons have given me a lot more to think about regarding faith. Joseph Smith was a renowned charlatan, after all. But who am I to say he didn’t actually receive a revelation or two?


From → rants

  1. Joseph Smith’s “revelations” can be actually tested. The short version: 3 min.

    The long version:

    • Thanks for this. The vids cover a lot of currently unfamiliar territory for me. It’s a little out of my league right now as such, but something I’m going to continue bearing in mind as I study more.

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