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twig vs. anxiety. guess who won.

November 6, 2013

You get three guesses, and the first two don’t count.

I’d like to tell you I won.

But frankly, I just couldn’t take a roomful of hipster pretentiousness and MTIA’s bestfriend/roommate talking down to him. She was, I’m sure, glad to see me leave the bar tonight. I know I shouldn’t let her win, but after two weeks off the anxiety meds, I just couldn’t stand it. I tried to hang tough, but it’s just not me. I don’t have a lot of fight left in me right now.

Saturday, I went to a party where I knew the photographer would be. He ran up behind me while I was talking with a friend and hugged me. And then he disappeared. He did not show up at volunteer activity tonight.

Today, I have not heard once from TLTL. I’m almost glad. Almost.

Tonight, I gave MTIA a t-shirt that I bought because it made me think of him. He asked me, “Why are you so nice to me? You’re just a genuinely nice person, aren’t you?”

How do you respond to that?

Later, in a dark bar, he caught the look of fear in my eyes, caught the tone of my voice, and dragged me outside to decompress. He kissed my cheeks, my nose, my lips. He understands me. He understands the flailing gestures I was making outside. He told me he is thankful that I am in his life, and that he is in mine.

Then he rocked some Queen karaoke.

Hole. Ee. Shit.


From → fiction, rants

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