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Please love me. Tell me I matter to you.

November 7, 2013

Last night, a 20-something girl sitting next to me at the bar looked at me and then nodded at MTIA doing something or another across the room. “How long have you been together?” she asked me.

“Oh, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Really? He looks at you like he is your boyfriend.”

Yeah, I’ve heard that before – about TLTL.

“It’s, um, complicated,” I shrugged. “We’re in, like, negotiations.”

She laughed at this, and I stared at MTIA for a while, just thinking, My God. He is absolutely stunning.

At karaoke (Yes, multiple days in a row, I know. Don’t you fucking judge me!) later, MTIA proceeded to get totally snockered, offering me a ridiculously sloppy kiss. Even shit-faced, the boy is still smooth as silk. I just wish either of us knew our limits when it comes to drinking. I mean, I guess I do, most of the time, but MTIA couldn’t function by the end of the night.

I want us to have a night together that doesn’t involve us getting trashed, that doesn’t involve running here and there and everywhere in between. I want us to have brunch and talk about whether the fuck we’re dating or not. I want him to be okay. I want him to have respect for himself the way I have respect for him.

I want him to tell me over and over that I’m amazing, and that he doesn’t ever want to leave my side. Because, really, that is never going to come from TLTL, despite the fact that he texted me last night to say he likes when I sing. Bull. Fucking. Shit. And I told him so, too.

(I’ll finish this and edit later. Sleepytime pills kicked in.)

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From → fiction, rants

4 Comments
  1. The Cats Meow permalink

    Mr. Smooth sounds fun. But you guys really need to talk about the bigger picture.

    • Very true. We meant to talk last week, but had to reschedule. Both of our lives are exceedingly hectic at the moment. I believe that we may have a difference of opinion when that talk happens.

      • The Cats Meow permalink

        That’s good that you both have been hectic. Maybe he doesn’t even realize what he is doing. So when you call him out it just might be the rude awakening that he needs. You deserve to be loved.

      • He may or may not. Thank you for thinking as you do. 🙂

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