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“To Inevitable Failure,” he toasted me.

January 5, 2014

10.09.13

And I smiled at him, as we clinked our glasses together.

Because, at least at first assessment, we are not a failure.

He will later remember his toast differently than I.

01.05.14

We were a failure. I screwed up again. I can’t seem to pick my head up to get any work done, but I had better find the motivation to do so in the next couple of hours lest I want to get fired.

I fucked up.

I cannot trust myself.

I cannot handle this pain and loss again.

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