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On dating, again…

July 16, 2014

A few nights back, I went on a date. And it was FUN. And it wasn’t with Ro.

I figured things were going particularly well when he came back from the bathroom at the bar and put his hand on the small of my back. I didn’t try to hide my grin, nor did I try to cover up my girlish giggling as we stood at my car kissing goodnight. He is awfully cute, and there seems to be real chemistry between us. I’m finding myself at a loss for words, actually. Somehow, I completely forgot to look at his shoes. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hung up on shoes.

Last night, at least, I wasn’t. I was far more interested in his plaid shorts, punk band t-shirt, and baseball hat and how refreshingly laid back he was. I suspect his shoes were nice, but I’ll still take a cursory glance to make sure when we go out over the weekend. Our plans are tentative, but we are both in agreement that we dig each other.

So I’ll try to put MTIA out of my head, remembering that I don’t want to be in love with someone so emotionally unstable. He did, however, email me yesterday, as I expected he eventually would, to explain his absence on Saturday. At least he felt he owed me an explanation, I guess. Call me flattered.

Oh yeah, flattered.


It’s nice to be thinking of someone and feeling happy, at least. I finally told Ro about the date, to which he said, “I’m going on a date on Saturday.” It’s sanguinely amusing, the ironic realization that while most of the time I am GLAD that Ro and I aren’t together, I still hurt when he told me that he’s going out with someone. I’m just not enough. And he’s still in love with his ex. I’m not enough to make him forget that.

WHY THE HELL DO I CARE?! He would drive me absolutely crazy in a relationship. I’d have dumped him ten times over by now had we been together. I’m hoping that things go more smoothly with Round Three. Thus far, he seems pleasantly sane. I want to take my time and get to know him. I have luckily been spared an inevitably bad relationship with Ro. Yeah, I’m sad to be losing fun times in bed with him – yeah, we agreed to no further trysts since we’re both starting to date again.


But really, was it all that good to begin with if I’m being honest? Well… it was… fun.

But it wasn’t enough to make me overly sad about losing that part of our friendship. And I can definitely appreciate him saying, “If this is the start of something really good between you and this new guy, I want it to be really, really good. I don’t want to cheapen your experience in any way.”

I hate when Ro is right.

I hate that Ro is all wrong for me. But Round Three has some real potential.

Do I still have potential?

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