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“Yeah,” I said contemplatively, “I’ve eaten a lot of balls.”

August 31, 2014

I was talking about the captive beads on my lip ring, but because Fast Car and I are super mature, we spent the next five minutes in a mexican restaurant giggling far too loudly.

“That’s not how I meant it!” I howled, turning scarlet. “You KNOW that’s not what I meant!!” Fast Car laughed harder, and my own laughter increased, as well.

It was a great dinner, followed by Fast Car playing with lighter fluid in the fire pitt, and us subjecting each other, fireside, to our favorite internet videos and also the worst. I had huge plans for a hardcore makeout session, but FC had just had a small surgical procedure the day before and was not feeling top notch. It’s probably for the best, anyway, but at dinner, he had me riled up while we were discussing pigtails.

“I like wearing my hair in pigtails,” I said. Pigtails are my favorite, actually!” (This is true.)

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Pigtails are great. When guys put their hair in pigtails, they know exactly the impact it will have! Pigtails are cute and spunky, and…” he paused and grabbed a tortilla chip, brought it just to his lips, arched an eyebrow at me and then added in a low voice, “They’re great handlebars.”

“Omfg!” I barked. Then I guffawed. I actually guffawed. Fast Car turned bright red, and if I could have jumped him right then and there, I’d have done it without missing a beat. So had I gotten my way regarding a makeout session later, I’m not sure I’d have let it end at that, and I’d not have been happy with myself. Sure, I’d like FC to leave for two months on the road with something to remember me by, but I also want to get it right this time around. I’m all about a great relationship between the sheets, but I think that if I’m looking for a really good relationship all around, I need to focus first more on the relationship qualities outside of the bedroom than I have done with MTIA, TLTL, and Gym Rat. Sex complicates things, clouds my judgment. And I’d rather any potential partner enter into a relationship with me without similarly clouded judgement. So while I have the sense of humor of the average 12-year-old boy, at least some part of me seems to be maturing finally. Why it’s taken me so damn long to TRULY realize something for myself that is such common sense is beyond me, but I suppose it’s a case where late is better than never.

So if Fast Car wants a relationship, it will be the lasting kind that can withstand his months on the road at a time each year, one that is firmly routed in mutual respect for each other’s interests and dreams. I’m such a hopeless romantic that I still firmly believe that the BEST sexual relationships are those that have a strong foundation otherwise. Am I cynical for thinking that a lot of modern society doesn’t believe that? Am I hanging out with the wrong people that I have developed that cynicism? Or am I right?

It doesn’t matter. I’m holding out for someone who sees the world the way I do. So far, FC seems to be a lot of that someone. Nothing about him thus far suggests otherwise. I hope I’m right.

And yeah, I like Baseball, but we don’t talk much other than when we’re out, and so it’s hard to get a firm read on him. He’s not done anything wrong, but I haven’t had the opportunity to connect with him like I have had with FC.

Sigh. So FC is heading out at the end of the week. He’ll be home again briefly in October, maybe? November? But hell, let the anticipation build. I’m about to get buried in 70+ hour work weeks until November anyway. And I’ve got a perfectly lovely imagination. I get the sense he does, too. *swoon*

Today, I sent him a picture of me in heavy eyeliner and pigtails as a get well wish. He was pleased. Mmmhmm… Antici…

…pation.

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